ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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