How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
