Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
