Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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