I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
