I'm going to jail i love you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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