call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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