if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
