forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
