She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Randomize
