He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
