I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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