I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
