Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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