In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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