do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
