Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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