I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
