and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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