just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
