Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
