no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
