his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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