I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
