when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
