The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
