How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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