bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
