Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

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(630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo

Replies (30) Good night (679) Bad night (2474)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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(603): I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/ibqv

Replies (16) Good night (5751) Bad night (1508)
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(818): View more from California

She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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(818): She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs? http://tfl.nu/4vl4

Replies (74) Good night (986) Bad night (6402)
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(818): View more from California

That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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(818): That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff http://tfl.nu/4b3c

Replies (33) Good night (863) Bad night (8528)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

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(484): Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen? http://tfl.nu/hkbt

Replies (5) Good night (2851) Bad night (1084)
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(210): View more from Texas

I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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(210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq

Replies (4) Good night (2401) Bad night (883)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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(816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u

Replies (2) Good night (2529) Bad night (803)
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(631): View more from New York

I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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(631): I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me http://tfl.nu/qlti

Replies (13) Good night (5473) Bad night (1357)
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(757): View more from Virginia

He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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(757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo

Replies (7) Good night (3039) Bad night (1073)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(410): She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor. http://tfl.nu/beb7

Replies (13) Good night (1893) Bad night (1227)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him

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(859): I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him http://tfl.nu/eehd

Replies (10) Good night (1248) Bad night (549)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.

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(913): You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils. http://tfl.nu/xx9n

Replies (10) Good night (1202) Bad night (578)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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(651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (539)
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(785): View more from Kansas

You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.

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(785): You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you. http://tfl.nu/hep7

Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (193)
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(407): View more from Florida

it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate

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(407): it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate http://tfl.nu/t09i

Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (150)

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