Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

(303): View more from Colorado

She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

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(303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake. (303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye http://tfl.nu/k1ky

Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (569)
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(+44): View more from England

why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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(+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh

Replies (13) Good night (1078) Bad night (3208)
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(415): View more from California

I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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(415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t

Replies (76) Good night (9969) Bad night (983)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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(330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp

Replies (68) Good night (6525) Bad night (1590)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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(508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u

Replies (36) Good night (10377) Bad night (940)
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(904): View more from Florida

youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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(904): youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb http://tfl.nu/7q2n

Replies (26) Good night (847) Bad night (5416)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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(847): I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him http://tfl.nu/klkz

Replies (12) Good night (1905) Bad night (3184)
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(989): View more from Michigan

you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin

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(989): you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin http://tfl.nu/ftsd

Replies (3) Good night (3099) Bad night (1144)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face

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(307): It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face http://tfl.nu/4yyh

Replies (10) Good night (2462) Bad night (1044)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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(303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6

Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (1281)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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(781): Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth. http://tfl.nu/q2q1

Replies (10) Good night (1088) Bad night (535)
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(+01): View more from

I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

(1+01): View more from

your the Dr. Phil in my life

(+01): View more from

Today is an unchanging day

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(+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn

Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (460)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.

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(906): I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day. http://tfl.nu/pyr7

Replies (9) Good night (1511) Bad night (478)
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(727): View more from Florida

I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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(727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi

Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (652)
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(561): View more from Florida

am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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(561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj

Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (324)

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