Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist