I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.