Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?