Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal. http://tfl.nu/j0la

Replies (69) Good night (38728) Bad night (2043)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.

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(513): I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear. http://tfl.nu/d8gq

Replies (31) Good night (909) Bad night (11305)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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(402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber

Replies (36) Good night (3759) Bad night (863)
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(720): View more from Colorado

If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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(720): If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/by48

Replies (24) Good night (744) Bad night (3726)
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(631): View more from New York

There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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(631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2

Replies (27) Good night (5154) Bad night (1534)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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(614): This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old. http://tfl.nu/nedp

Replies (105) Good night (1951) Bad night (5727)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

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(403): Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me. http://tfl.nu/6qnx

Replies (23) Good night (11364) Bad night (1186)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.

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(860): no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed. http://tfl.nu/hsf7

Replies (8) Good night (3864) Bad night (1221)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.

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(419): Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/o1pz

Replies (12) Good night (1350) Bad night (2659)
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(858): View more from California

ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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(858): ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL http://tfl.nu/gcph

Replies (7) Good night (1708) Bad night (888)
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(789): View more from

Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.

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(789): Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/mvrr

Replies (4) Good night (2229) Bad night (656)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you

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(815): You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you http://tfl.nu/fukp

Replies (9) Good night (1866) Bad night (498)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.

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(724): Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/3pug

Replies (11) Good night (2232) Bad night (780)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know

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(+44): Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know http://tfl.nu/1326

Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (499)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?

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(+44): He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks? http://tfl.nu/sa4o

Replies (8) Good night (703) Bad night (321)

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