Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My hand turned me down
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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