Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Someone came in the potted fern
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize