No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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