that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
