I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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