did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
why do cheetos always look like penises
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
