Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize