I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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