thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
