Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
