and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He? As in you personified your dick?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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