Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
