I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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