its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
