So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize