I got chris browned last night
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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