your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
