We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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