I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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