But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
