Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
