nut hugger
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My vagina just recognized that song.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
