As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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