About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
