I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
