why didn't you poke me back
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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