Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
