Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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