Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize