Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
