He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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