Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
