They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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